The Comet's Flame

People make me sad. They exhibit so much selfishness, hypocrisy, and obscene pride. They act like they own the planet. They wear a smiling mask of happiness and complacency with no regard for the few tortured souls who live every day locked in a hopeless battle against grief and misery.

Yet I can’t seem to live without people. It’s like a drug addiction… I just keep coming back for more. I hate people, but at the same time I love them. I have a psychological craving for their affirmation and support. I wish to God that I didn’t. The pain that people can inflict is much longer-lasting than the buzz I get from a nice conversation or a friendly compliment.

No wonder I’ve experienced nothing but dysfunctional relationships. I guess I can’t really despise humanity and then expect other humans to want to be friends with me.

But in reality, deeper than my anger towards humanity is a pity for the individual people around me. I can honestly say that I have love for them. What makes me the most sad is that they seem incapable of loving me (or anybody else) in return.

I don’t really know why I’m writing this. It hasn’t made me feel any better, and I’m sure it’s not enjoyable reading material. My apologies for being so gloomy.