The Comet's Flame

Don’t worry, I’m not announcing plans to “tie the knot” or anything like that (wouldn’t that be a shocker?!). I’m simply going to give a brief summary of my views on marriage. Recent conversations have led me to believe that people might be interested in knowing my feelings about this topic. Perhaps that’s just delusional thinking on my part, but for now, I will proceed with the assumption that this post is interesting.

There are a certain number of topics that trigger a sort of internal knee-jerk reaction which fills me with an overwhelming urge to say something negative. Sometimes this is because I am philosophically opposed to the topic (professional sports and hunting are two such things for which I have strong negative feelings, and enumerable reasons why). Other times, I say something comically negative simply because I don’t understand the topic (for example, I might say “video games are of the Devil” because I have absolutely no video-gaming skills) and I would rather look like a “square” than to look like an incompetent/uninformed idiot. Marriage has traditionally fit into this latter category with me. At times, you may hear me imply that I have no interest in marriage or romance, but that’s not really what my true feelings are.

My secret dream is that the age-old fairytale progression (knight in shining armor wins the heart of the fair maiden, and they live happily ever after) would happen to me. Nothing would make me happier than to have someone special to share my life with. However, if you know me at all, it should be immediately obvious that the chances of that actually occurring are close to nil (the knight in shining armor part is especially problematic). So my approach has been to become accustomed to being “alone” and pretend like I enjoy it (perhaps enough pretending will actually make it so?).

Being an engineer, I approximate low probabilities as zero. Thus, I don’t really see any point in pursuing the improbable dream, so I’m not going to go out searching for a wife. I do believe in miracles, though. If God really wants me to be married at some point, then He can make things work out, and I certainly won’t stand in His way. Until then… whatever, marriage is of the Devil.