Impasse
Over the past few months, I’ve been hit in the face with the truth of Proverbs 10:19 (especially in my online activities such as blogging, Facebook, and email) time and time again.
When words are many, sin is not absent…
I regret about 90% of what I have written/typed. Not because of the actual content (I haven’t really said anything that I should be ashamed of, IMHO), but because of the way people have responded (or failed to respond) to said content.
People liked me better as the enigmatic Jed. People liked me better before I opened up about myself.
I don’t think the world is ready for honesty, so I’m just gonna shut up and give the people what they want (nice neat carefree conservative impersonal shallowness).
Please discard everything you think you know about me (because it’s probably a misconception anyway). Allow me to fade back into oblivion. That’s the best thing for you, me, and everybody else.
I feel like I sorta gave my heart away (or at least wore it on my sleeve), and the gift wasn’t appreciated. So now I want it back in my chest cavity, where it’s safe and hidden.
What does this mean? Basically, I’m not gonna be talking about myself very much anymore on this blog. If there’s something you wanna know, you’ll have to ask me, and maybe (just maybe) I will tell you.
Posted: March 7th, 2008 under Introspection.
Comments
Comment from Jed
Time 2008/03/07 at 10:55 pm
Oh not at all, Ellie Ann! I’ve really appreciated all your comments.
This entry is not necessarily about any specific people… I was just feeling upset with humanity in general.
Sorry to take out my frustrations on you readers. 
Comment from Ellie Ann
Time 2008/03/08 at 10:24 am
I understand. People frustrate me too, sometimes. I hope that you don’t completely stop writing about yourself, though… because it is interesting and I know people do care. I am not a natural introvert, but I always admired those who were quiet and mysterious because I felt like everyone knew everything about me the moment they met me, and several times I tried to become like my less wordy friends. but as I got older I began to see the benefits of both being silent and speaking your mind. Mostly because I have friends that were of both personalities and used them wrongly. Friends who became abnoxious constant chatters (about themselves, mostly… until no one cares at all), and friends who gave up on people and shut up- and pretty much became an island. I believe either extreme is an abuse of our God-given ability to communicate. When I shut people out and hide my heart away it only hurts more. So please don’t give up on us because we are dumb and we respond poorly! -a typically wordy answer from a typically wordy me:)
Comment from Jed
Time 2008/03/08 at 12:40 pm
Thank you so much for the encouraging words, Ellie Ann. I really really appreciate it.
You raise some excellent points. It’s not fair of me to shut my friends out of my life. So I’ll try not to do that.
Yeah I really need to find a balance between being overly silent and speaking my mind all the time. Thanks for sharing your experiences in that area. I’m glad to know that you’ve had some success in finding that balance as well! Maybe there’s hope for me after all!
Comment from Ellie Ann
Time 2008/03/11 at 11:14 am
mmm… oops. Did I emply that I have had success in this? I suppose I have had some… but it is only by the grace of God- because I am about the worst person I know in the area of finding balance with words! I should count how many times a day I talk about myself:) Glad to be of encouragement! The other day I saw someone who looked a lot like you- I waved and said “Hey!” but he didn’t respond. It wasn’t you:)
Comment from Josiah
Time 2008/03/13 at 1:19 am
However, when words are many, there is also a greater chance that something great will be said… What’s more, I think I have benefited in some way from almost every post you’ve posted.
Selfishness is never a good idea, but I for one really get a lot out of hearing about what’s going on in your life and mind. I recommend Glasnost without the perestroika. 
Comment from Jed
Time 2008/03/13 at 6:51 am
Aww, Ellie… that’s sad that the Jed-lookalike wasn’t too friendly. Speaking of sad things… it’s been forever since I’ve seen you or your family! Are you guys ever in CR these days? Because we really need to hang out some time.
Thanks, Josiah. I really appreciate that. I love the Glasnost poster with the megaphone, BTW.
Comment from Ellie Ann
Time 2008/03/13 at 10:10 am
He wasn’t too bad, he probably just couldn’t figure out why I was so enthusiastic! I’m moving back to CR this summer, but my family doesn’t get that way a lot Good luck seeing T.J., either. I’m not sure where he’s off to after boot camp- but we only get him for ten days.
Comment from Jed
Time 2008/03/13 at 11:44 am
Haha yeah probably.
Hey cool… CR is a very nice place.
I can’t believe that T.J. is joining the military!!! I never knew he was interested in that sort of thing! Well, tell him I said “hi” and good luck!
Comment from Ellie Ann
Time 2008/03/07 at 5:39 pm
Sad day. Have I responded badly to any of your posts? I enjoy them.